At your first pediatric appointment with your new baby you are always asked, “How often do you feed him?” This question may seem innocuous to the unsuspecting new parent but beware! It is a loaded question. The conversation with me goes something like this:
“How often do you feed him?”
“Whenever he wants to breastfeed.”
“How often is that?”
“However often he wants to breastfeed.”
“Are you feeding him every 2 hours?”
“No. I am feeding him whenever he wants to breastfeed.”
“Well we need to know so you need to keep track.”
“No, actually I don’t. We both need to know if he is healthy and thriving and I invite you to observe my healthy, thriving baby. And he got this way by being breastfed on cue and not on a schedule. I base my parenting decisions on what is in the best interest of my baby, not what makes it most convenient for you to fill out your chart.”
Cue disgruntled nurse exiting exam room. Could I be called a bitch? Perhaps, but I am 100% okay with being disliked for standing up for what I know is in the best interest of my baby. A lot of moms would just say, “Sure, every 2 hours.” You pick and choose your battles and this is a battle I choose because that question doesn’t just ask you for information, it tells you that you should be scheduling your infant’s feedings. This question leaves the mom who has been following her maternal wisdom, responding sensitively to her baby’s cues and feeding him when he wants to breastfeed thinking, “Oh my goodness. I’m supposed to know how often he breastfeeds? Why don’t I know how often he breastfeeds? I’m supposed to feed him every 2 hours? Oh my goodness. This is how everyone else feeds their baby? If the nurse is implying that I should be breastfeeding him on a schedule than that must be what is healthiest for him.”
Babies are born knowing few things but if nothing else, they have an amazingly strong mind-body connection- they know how to listen to their bodies. This means that they eat when they are hungry. They sleep when they are tired. They seek comfort when they need it. You cannot over breastfeed a baby. If you foster this mind-body connection, you encourage your child to listen to the signals of their body and allow those to guide them. This looks like a child who eats when they are hungry and stops when they are no longer hungry. If you interrupt this connection in an attempt to seize control of your baby’s feedings, you teach your child to ignore the signals of their body. Eat when there is food in front of you. Eat until it is gone because you won’t be able to eat again, even if you are hungry. Eating is about a clock and a routine. Eating becomes more about the power struggle between parent and child and not about satisfying needs. Furthermore, there is a loss of trust that happens between parent and infant when an infant reaches out, communicates that they have a need, and that need is not met.
In addition to the mind-body connection within your baby, there is an amazing breast-baby connection that flourishes when you breastfeed on cue. Your milk supply will perfectly attune to baby’s ever changing nutritional needs. If your baby is having a growth spurt and needs more milk, as long as you offer it (put him to breast whenever he is hungry), your milk supply will increase to perfectly meet his need. With only a 24 hour layover time, your breasts will adjust to every change in his natural routine, ensuring his every need is met. All you have to do to allow this perfectly honed system to function is breastfeed on cue.
Luckily for parents and infants, breastfeeding meets so many needs for a baby. This makes the system of cue and response pretty simple. My baby West, who has been breastfeeding as I type, was laying on my lap when his arms and legs began to move more abruptly and he turned his face to the side, slightly raising the right side of his upper lip. I pulled aside my shirt, he latched and breastfed for about 10 minutes and fell asleep then rolled his head onto the center of my chest. Was he hungry? Yes. Was he tired? Yes. Was he in need of some intimate bonding time? Yes. Mission accomplished on all fronts. It is such a perfect system, such a beautiful dance that takes place between us and as long as we move to the rhythm, we are in sync, in perfect harmony. Whether I am teaching a class or at a park with my kids, I cannot imagine a more convenient and healthy life for me and my baby. I trust him and he trusts me. I cannot imagine a better foundation for a loving relationship. Oh, West just started grunting and slobbering on my chest and my milk just let down. I’m off to breastfeed on cue.
0 comments:
Post a Comment